Friday, July 07, 2006

How fortunate we are!

I found this in a magazine today.

This is my one true wish....

If you had asked me 3 years ago I would have instantly replied "a new car", "money", "a bigger house", but now my answer has changed. I no longer care about the new car, the bigger house, or even the money. I want a baby. I don't care if it's a he or a she. I don't care what it looks like. I want the aches and pains. I want to be fat and bloated. I want morning sickness. I want the crazy ups and downs of pregnancy hormones. I want to be moody and grouchy and hot all the time. As crazy as it sounds, ecspecially coming from me, I want to go through hours of labor. I want to feel the pain. I want to want pickles with my ice cream. I want to shop for someone other than me. I want to spend my money on diapers and formula. I want people to stop assuming that we hate children because we don't have any after 4 years of marriage. I want them to stop treating me weird once they find out why. I don't want them to hide their pregnancies from me. I am not going to freak out. I don't want to hear, "You are so lucky you don't have kids". We aren't lucky. I don't want to hear another person say "I hate to have to drop everything every 3 hours to feed a crying baby." Do they not understand that I would give anything to be in their place? I want to do a 2 a.m. feeding. I want to go to work tired because I was rocking a fussy baby all night. I want to give up my "me" time. I want to have to take super fast showers. I want to learn how to do everything one-handed. I want to eat with a baby on my lap. I want a reason to give up my Trans-Am. I want a reason to drive slower and eat healthier. I want the doctors to stop saying, "we can't find anything wrong. Just give it some more time". I am tired of being disappointed month after month. I am tired with being obsessed with numbers and dates and temperatures. I'm tired of trying to be happy for everyone that accidently gets pregnant. I'm tired of just being "Aunt Brandi". I want something more. Is it too much to ask?



Isn't it sad, but beautiful? I am keeping it for those days when I am at my wits end with the kids. I have truly been blessed with my wonderful children. I wouldn't change a thing. They are so worth it.

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