1. You can dip your child in a vat of SPF 70 several times a day, yet she winds up with a Day-Glo pink triangle on her back.
2. They spend 8 hours in the water, but your suggestion of a bath at night is an abomination.
3. There exists a flavor of Popsicle known only as "blue".
4. How one kid in a double bed can wake up covered in mosquito bites and the other is entirely unscathed.
5. No matter how wholesome the sleep-away camp looks in the brochure, your son is returned to you singing dirty lyrics to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic".
6. How your husband gets to be buried in the sand(translation: lie down for an hour), while you have to be the water carrier for the large-scale sand-castle architectural extravaganza.
7. Somehow the best berries for picking are always in the crazy neighbor lady's yard.
8. Why soggy fries and nasty hot dogs taste like the nectar of the gods after a day in the salt air.
9. And then your car smells like puke for the entire first month of school, even after you've cleaned and deodorized it three times.
10. How the summer manages to feel both way too long and waaaaay too short at the same time.
How many can you relate to?
I am on my way back, I promise.